this little light of mine

i think nessa just loves to talk to herself before she sleeps.
and goes tells herself to stop crying.
that she should toughen herself up and be stronger than this.
yeah.
just stop crying.
but never lose faith.

and so she messaged him last night.
so what?
ok.
fine.
she wasn't supposed to.
not until he tells you that he's ready.
but i felt weird la.
i was debating with myself in the room.
literally.
i kept telling myself that if he needs someone, he will know where to look for help.
but we all know who's the stubborn one here la.
and so nessa was crying and debating with pet.
who never seems to be able to pass on properly.
why can't people jsut die properly.
and varien was there.
although i can't really see him.
but nessa felt him there.
haha.
good baby varien.
and so nessa was saying no, don't message him.
until he was ready.
but pet was like.
you need to get it out of your system!
you know he's upset and down.
and he needs some encouraging words.
and somehow, pet always wins.
but i was praying he didn't reply.
and thank the sweet Lord that he didn't.

nessa was letting everything out.
cried and cried and cried last night.
i don't know for what reason also.
actually.
i know why.
i felt helpless.
i felt useless.
like i couldn't do anything to help anyone.
you.
or even him.
so nessa just sat there crying.

but before i slept.
i felt more ready then ever.
maybe all i needed to do was to let it out.
nessa is an emotional girl.
so forgive her.
and she just let it all out.
she's feeling better now.
she's ready.
now more than ever.

maybe its karma.
now you know how it feels.
the pain i went through when i lost someone i loved so much.
but hang in there.
i almost died when it happened.
but you're stronger than i am.
you'll be able to survive it better.
i know you can.
cause i see it.

i know it.


for you.

there's a strangest excitement today.
if you're awake then you're welcome to hear.
i've got a gift and it blew me away.
from the far eastern sea straight to here.
oh God i feel like i'm in for it now.
its like a rush has gone straight to my brain.
but my voice is as lonely as loud.
as i whisper a joy of this pain.
and sddenly
you've done it all
you won me over.
in no time at all.
and now i'll stop the storm if it rains.
i'll make your fear melt away.
and the world we know disappears.
if you ask i will do what you say.
all we have is this night to get through.
with a twist of your smile your own way.
you left me all up in arms and confused.
oh God i feel like im in for it now.
and how this kiss would be wonderfully vain.
i swear i'll melt if you touch me at all.
but then i'll ask you to do it again, an again.
i'll stop the storm if it rains.
i'll light a path far from here.
i'll make your fear melt away.
and the world we know disappear.


i'll treasure what i have.
even if its slipping away.
cause i know.
that when i have it.
it made me happy.